Burnout is Real!
May I rest for a while?
This was my fervent request to my superior when I noticed the unexplainable feelings of emptiness and exhaustion. My initial understanding of the situation was that I must have been terribly tired of accompanying a group of clients after a month of integration. However, as days passed, I detected that I was breaking into pieces; feelings of agitation and sadness were crippling; tendencies of isolation, withdrawal, insomnia, and physical tiredness were accelerating - symptoms of burnout. I tried to pacify myself, hoping that all these things were part of physical and emotional exhaustion.
You are burnt out, Father!
That was the assessment of a trusted therapist with whom I shared her struggle. Unbelievable! I did not see it coming. I was surprised when I first heard the assessment right in front of my face. I was humbled by the prognosis and accepted it without resistance. I wasted no time! I planned possible appropriate actions to help myself recover gradually. No hurries, one step at a time!
I decided to help myself!
I asked for some day’s break from the community. I freed myself from my usual routine, created a space to breathe, be surrounded by good friends, and take an absence from my clients and community members. Please don’t get me wrong! I don’t mean to say that I hate to be with clients and confreres, but I just realized that taking a “needed break” from my workplace, which also happens to be my residence, is a must. I stayed in a common family friend’s house, slept, ate, prayed on my own, enjoyed moments of silence, and shared my struggles and why I took a break. Being listened to and understood was genuinely liberating. I felt the sense of relief of being able to express my emotions, articulate my pain, and identify the elements that needed attention. To determine the status of my spiritual journey, I set a schedule with my identified spiritual directress, which helped me see the “unwanted situation” better, affirming the reality that sometimes God knocks at our doors by surprise! Thanks be to God! I gradually recovered with a better understanding of myself and my ministry.
What have I learned?
I have learned that no one is exempted from experiencing burnout. It happens to everyone whether we like it or not, accept or deny it. To be human means to be vulnerable to any form of ‘human maladies,’ even burnout. Thus, let us not be afraid to embrace burnout once it hits our lives or we find ourselves at rock bottom. It’s ok not to be Ok! And it’s human to take a break and become honest about our struggles with our respected person of authority in the community. Making them know of our here and now with sincerity and honesty is not a sign of weakness; instead, it is a sign of maturity. No cover-ups! Just be courageous enough to find a place, community, trusted family friend, or common friend of the community where you can stay, rest, breathe with freedom, sacred space for prayer, and provide a listening heart without judgment and condemnation, only with love and understanding. It is also best to visit our spiritual director to help us navigate our momentary experience of turmoil, seeing it through the lens of faith and relationship with God.
Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes, God makes his presence felt in different situations, good or bad, even in consolation or desolation. In whatever life situation, God always has something for us to discover, realities that sometimes we fail to recognize because of our apparently busy schedule. We need to pay better attention. What matters most is that we don’t allow ourselves to be defined by our “momentary struggle”; instead, we take it as an opportunity to assess our lives and identify areas for growth with the hope of configuring ourselves in Christ. May we be reminded that all of us are in the process of becoming a project in progress. Be patient and never give up on loving oneself, others, and God!
BURNOUT? This, too, shall pass!
In life, LEARN to STOP, LOOK and LISTEN!
Fr. Rogie Quinga, RCJ, resides at the Oasis of Prayer in Silang, Cavite. Aside from managing the Enterprises of the St. Matthew Province, he also spends his time helping priests, religious, and those in formation in their psycho-spiritual journey.