The Long Loving Look
(Stop, Look and Listen) Part 2
There are countless things worth seeing every day. But our busy schedule and endless responsibilities, more often than not, deprive us of recognizing the beauty surrounding us. So, it is not surprising to hear litanies of complaints, much in religious life, on stress, anxiety, burnout, depression… even spiritual dryness. In trying to cope with the daily demands, commitments, and endless responsibilities, we continue living without enjoying the luxury of seeing God’s creation.
Look at the beauty of creation!
Whether we like it or not, even religious and priestly life is affected by the “urgent” culture, believing everything must be done immediately and attended to without further delay. There is nothing wrong with meeting our daily target; however, we often end up gasping, empty, and, at times, without a sense of meaning. ‘Taking a look’ doesn’t mean only ‘to take a glance’. Instead, it’s about taking a moment ‘to recognize’ and ‘be captured’ by the beauty of creation surrounding us. The contemplative way of looking helps us to enjoy the ordinary beauty of various plants beaming with beautiful colors, flowers with distinctive scents, and trees dancing as blown by the wind, the clouds, the stars, the moon, and other realities that point to something beyond.
One day, while doing my afternoon walk, I took a closer look at the little flower planted by the roadside, driven by mere curiosity. I was surprised to see that at the center of the pink flower is another layer of a yellow bud. The more I paid attention to it, the more I was startled by its uniqueness. It brought a smile to my face, a joy in my heart, and a sense of consolation upon the thought of being reminded that I may be little but beautiful. It hit me big time! It’s not about wanting to be noticed, but it is in noticing the beauty of creation that helped me realize my own uniqueness, that led me to celebrate my worth, and lastly, express my gratitude to God. It was just an ordinary encounter with the flower that led me to an extraordinary experience. Looking intently and contemplatively at ordinary things makes life extraordinary.
Our life is not only comprised of hustles and bustles. Occasionally, we are invited to pause and take a “long loving look” at the realities amid us. It helps us recognize that even the most ordinary circumstance is a form of divine communication; God is talking to us.
Look at the core of yourself!
“Look at yourself in the lens of God.” That was the invitation back then of my spiritual director. I was surprised then to discover that it was possible. My own share of insecurities affected my self-confidence and sense of self-worth. I tried to imitate others to prove my worth, hoping to be on par with them. I need to be at my best! Why? For me to be validated, accepted by the world, and be recognized: I, too, am worthy of such beauty. Trying to compete with others to be recognized was exhausting, draining, and depressing.
Looking at oneself using God’s lens is not only about recreating or convincing a particular illusion. It was about finding my authentic self in front of God. “Who am I to you, O God? You are my beloved!” That was the answer, accompanied by the image of being carried on God’s shoulder. I am not just a broken person; I am ‘the beloved.’
The experience was liberating and empowering. It brought me much peace and a sense of humility within me. I am not perfect, but I have noticed that embracing our “belovedness” removes the human tendency to compete, prove, and waste much energy for nothing. I hope we may always go beyond the externalities and be amazed by who we are as God’s beloved!
Look at your neighbors!
It is so easy to be driven by our biases in our relationships with others. Sometimes, we struggle to look at others intently, without judgment in our minds and the absence of anger in our hearts. They occur accompanied by justifications such as, I don’t like the way he talks, his arrogant smile, illogical narratives, facial expressions, authoritarian voice, etc. We have endless justifications for our biases. However, we must know that we cannot change our neighbors or companions automatically. It takes time, process, patience, and profound understanding.
In dealing with and establishing relationships with others, we need to muster the courage to look beyond every face of our neighbor. To look beyond means to see the person beyond his limitations and weaknesses, setting aside our biases and magnifying the reality that this person remains a child of God.
Let us not forget that we are all children of God; we are his beloved. The sense of peace, joy, meaning, and love depends on how we look at ourselves, which fundamentally mirrors our relationship with others. Let us not be preoccupied with changing others; instead, let us hope that having a '“long loving look” at others may lead them to realize their own “belovedness.” Until when? No one knows! Let us just keep trusting God so that allowing ourselves to enjoy God’s loving look may also lead us to take a compassionate, understanding, and accepting look at the world and others.
Fr. Rogie Quinga, RCJ, helps priests, religious, and those in formation make sense of their psycho-spiritual journey.