The Mother’s Paragon
“You can give without loving, but you can never love without giving...” These famous words of Victor Hugo in Les Misérables aptly describes how it is when one truly loves.
Come to think of it - it is indeed easy to give; out of pity, out of compassion, out of obligation --- not necessarily out of love. But can one love without giving? No. One cannot. Giving out of loving is, by default, a given. That is how love can truly be expressed. When one wills the good of the loved for the loved.
Such kind of love can easily be seen in a mother’s love to her child.
It is said that the greatest human bond is the maternal bond.
The moment a child is conceived, the nurturing by the mother starts. Through the umbilical cord she feeds him with her own blood, and through the nerves nourishes his soul with her own thoughts and emotions. It is impossible therefore to sever that kind of connection between mother and child no matter what challenges their relationship undergoes through the years of their lives. Time and space therefore cannot break such a link and that is why mothers literally feel their children: their pains, their anguish but also their joys.
Joys and pains. These are the roller coaster of emotions we all go through in this so called “valley of tears”. But one person who really carries a double burden of these emotions is a mother. More than that of hers, she also carries with her the pains of her child, regardless of age. Such a burden can sometimes be unbearable and mothers can easily be derailed as they navigate through the challenges of motherhood. They need a model to emulate. A paragon.
Such a person is the Blessed Mother. No other mother can equal the maternal suffering that Mary had to endure. From the moment Jesus’ Passion commenced, Mary was there to witness it all up to his death. Every blow of the whip, every drive to the nail, every drop of blood oozing from the excruciatingly painful wounds, Mary doubly felt it all.
When Simeon said to Mary that a sword will “pierce” her heart as she will suffer with her beloved son, any mother would understand how deep this kind of prophesy can hurt. Yet, no protest, nor complaint could be heard from Mary. Instead, she remained undaunted and unfazed; rather, in all humility, she just suffered in silence, surrendering it all to Divine Providence. What mother therefore should not mirror Mary’s motherhood?
In the challenges of today, we all need a mother like Mary.
None of us young or old, rich or poor, lay or the consecrated, have, especially in times when we are down and we seem to drown in sorrows and despair; in one moment or another not thought of our mothers. Just the thought of our mothers gives us a sense of calmness and peace even if just for a moment. But what a fleeting thought of our mothers can give, the divine motherhood of the Blessed Virgin can indefinitely sustain in our hearts. We should all flock to her. The paragon of all mothers. In the words of St. Hannibal Mary di Francia: “Mary is the Queen bee, and our souls are the bees.”
Edna Sasing-Lao, MD is a lay collaborator of the Rogationists - St Mathew Province. She and her family are the National Coordinators of the Pamilya Rog, a union of the families of Rogationist priests, religious brothers, seminarians and other families who share the charism and spirituality of the ROGATE.